Editing My Script

1. EXT.ALLEYWAY.DAY
  
John: 

Early 20's, ragged cloths ( shirt and trousers) , very tall

Vin:

Near 27, three quarters ragged trousers,  yellow dirty vest and very short.

Dip:

18 years old, new posh cloths (steels cloths ), about 7ft

Pit:

14 years old, ragged shirt and trousers, big Hench 
 

John, Vin, Dip and Pit:

 

(In early 20s, ragged close)Picking pockets, don't know each other yet, 4 screens in 1 screen Split into quarters (Individually)
all 4 doing the same thing (picking pockets)

2. EXT.MIDDLE OF TOWN.SUNSET

All:


(Individually, all 4 screens go into 1) run in to town

(NEXT DAY)

3. EXT.IN ALLEYWAY.DAY

ALL: (BUMP INTO EACH OTHER)

Vin: 


U all pick pockets

John, Pit, Dip: 


Yeah

Vin: 


shall we make a crew. We’ll be we’ll rich, u get me.

J, p, d:


Yeah, Yeah , What shall we name our self.

Vin: 


Picks for pick pockets.

J, P, D: 


That’s officially done


Vin: 


every one go to sleep well start fresh tomorrow. 

4. INT.OLD MANSION. NIGHT

Vin:


Oi, listen lets rob this old mans house, he’s got quiet a lot of money. He’s getting his back yard re-built, truck loads of materials, must have lots of money. 


John:


Na i disagree on this i am a thief but i wont go and rob a house and harm him. That's not me !!, I'm gone not part of this thing any more

5. EXT.OUT SIDE THE OLD MANS HOUSE. SUNSET

Vin, Dip, Pit :


( ALL GO OUT SIDE THE OLD MANS HOUSE, DRIVING SLOWLY)


Vin:


I'm afraid if John tells the police


Pit:


If he does then we'll kick the ship out of him.


Dip: 


hey hey  I'm ready  

6. EXT.STARTING TO BREAK INTO THE OLD MANS HOUSE.NIGHT

Vin, Dip, Pit :


lets go! 

(They go when the old mans gone out)

(boom)

7. INT.OLD MANS HOUSE.NIGHT

Vin:


let’s go, let’s go hurry, hurry

(Putting expensive stuff into the black bags)


Pit:


fucking chill out  


Dip: 


the old man is gonna take a long time coming hear

8. INT.JOHN’S HOUSE.NIGHT

JOHN:


(phones the police to tall of the robbers)

John:


hello, can I have the police. 

Police: 


what seems to be the problem

John:


OK, I’ve seen a group of people robbing a house there in the middle of looting.


Police:


can i have your name and address


John: 


my name is will and i live 31 Stoney Stanton road

Police: 


OK were on our way


9.EXT.OUT SIDE THE OLD MANS HOUSE. NIGHT



Police:


So we go from the back and front forcing them to retrieve. OK has every one got there riot gear on


All: 


Yes 


Police sheriff: 


OK lets go no noise what so ever




10.EXT. SNEAK THROUGH THE WINDOWS. 
MIDDLE OF NIGHT


Police:


(sneak through the window)


 Sheriff:


3, 2, 1 go go go  



11.INT. THE OLD MANS HOUSE. MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT


Police: 


Get down!, Get down! 


 Vin: 


What the hell is going on hear.


Police:
 
(grab Vin, dip, pit)
Your coming with us, where you belong


Vin:


  Bloody hell

My Script

1. EXT.ALYWAY.DAY

John, Vin, Dip and Pit:

Picking pockets (Indevisual)

2. EXT.MIDDLE OF TOWN.SUNSET

All: run in to town

(NEXT DAY)

3. EXT.IN ALLYWAY.DAY

ALL: (BUMP INTO EACH OTHER)

Vin: U all pick pockets

John, Pit, Dip: Yeh

Vin: shall we make a crew. We’ll be we’ll rich, u get me.

J, p, d: Yeh, Yeh , What shall we name our self.

Vin: Picks for pick pockets.

J, P, D: That’s officially done

4. INT.OLD MANSION. NIGHT

John: Oi, listen lets rob this old mans house, he’s got quiet a lot of money. He’s getting his back yard re-built, truck loads of materials, must have lots of money.

5. EXT.OUT SIDE THE OLD MANS HOUSE. SUNSET

Vin, Dip, Pit :( ALL GO OUT SIDE THE OLD MANS HOUSE, DRIVING SLOWLY)

6. EXT.STARTING TO BREAK INTO THE OLD MANS HOUSE.NIGHT

Vin, Dip, Pit : lets go!

(They go when the old mans gone out)

(boom)

7. INT.OLD MANS HOUSE.NIGHT

Vin: let’s go, let’s go hurry, hurry

(Putting expensive stuff into the black bags)

8. INT.JOHN’S HOUSE.NIGHT

JOHN: (phones the police to tall of the robbers)

John: hello, can I have the police.

Police: what seems to be the problem

John: Ok, I’ve seen a group of people robbing a house there in the middle of loting.

Police: Ok were on our way

9.EXT.OUT SIDE THE OLD MANS HOUSE. NIGHT

Police: So we go from the back and frount forcing them to retrive. Ok has every one got there riot gear on

All: Yes

10.EXT. SNEAK THROUGH THE WINDOWS. MIDDLE OF NIGHT

Police: (sneak through the window)

11.INT. THE OLD MANS HOUSE. MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT


Police: Get down!, Get down! 
Vin: What the F**K is going on hear.
Police:
(grab vin, dip, pit)
Your coming with us, where you belong